


Gone Away

by Blueishfood



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Marvel Universe, Other, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2020-11-08 09:36:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20833304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blueishfood/pseuds/Blueishfood
Summary: The night is dark, but not silent. Somebody is trying to get into your house.





	1. Deadly night

**Author's Note:**

> Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader 
> 
> Words: 1.2 k
> 
> Warning(s): Angst I suppose? Idk… if hiding in a dark house while someone is trying to kill you is angst, then angst it is. This does not contain "graphic" violence, but the reader is threatened, so be aware.
> 
> Summary: The night is dark, but not silent. Somebody is trying to get into your house.
> 
> A/N: SOMETHING YOU SHOULD KNOW BEFORE READING THE FIC: This is a soulmate fic, where every person is born with an original song that only they and their soulmate know. Now, that’s what you need to know, enjoy!

«Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.” You whisper under your breath as your door handle rattles almost quietly. You look around desperately, trying to find a place to hide as you back away from the door.

The house is dark and the night outside almost sickening quiet. That's when you realize that the person stopped trying to get in. You almost let out a sigh of relief when you remember that the horror movies always start this way. And so you stay quiet.

Trembling, you edge towards the stairs in the corner. You’re all too aware that you will be in sight of the window beside the stairs if you take another step. But something is tinkering inside the black door now and you know that if you don’t move now you won’t have another chance.

So you lunge for the stairs, fuzzy socks gliding against the cold floorboards, hoping against all hope that he didn’t see you. Your heart pounds inside your rib-cage and blood is rushing in your ears. You clamber up the stairs as silently as you can.

Hidden in the darkness of the next floor, you tell your heart to slow down. You crouch down, trying to hear if the tinkering stopped. You can only hear your own harsh breaths.

And then the door creaks, the sound is unmistakable. Your breath hitches. You stop breathing, then maybe he won’t hear you.

The man closes the door behind him quietly, perhaps he thinks you’re sleeping. Perhaps he’s only here to steal. You desperately hope he’s here to steal. But you obviously don’t have much in your apartment. No one would choose this to break into.

Your hope fizzles and dies.

You hear him as he steps on the floorboard next to the stairs. You stand quickly, pressing yourself into the shadow of the wall.

The man laughs.

You lean on the wall behind you for support. His laugh is almost genuine. As if his buddy just told a kind of funny joke.

“Pretty.” He scoffs. And this time you’re sure he saw you, but his eyes are fastened on something behind him.

You close your eyes and feel a sob clawing at your throat. Your nose burns uncomfortably. Then he turns away from the stairway and walks into your living room.

You gasp for air the second you hear him open a drawer, and turn, crawling into your bedroom. You almost collapse on the bed, but he can’t hear you, so you stand.

There must be somewhere to hide. Under the bed? No, that would be too obvious. A glimmer catches your eye. It’s your phone. You almost cry from relief.

As silently as possible you grab the metallic phone and then you step into the closet. It’s not big, but it’s large enough to fit you. Perhaps the dresses will hide you.

Desperate whispers slip past your lips as you grip your phone tightly. “Oh God, God, please, please, please-” The phone turns on in your hands. The light is too bright, and you turn it down, heart in your throat.

The stairwell creaks and your heart jumps painfully. You hadn’t been paying enough attention, and now he was there.

You listen to the heavy footsteps as he steps into your bedroom. Through the door you can see the dull light reflect off metal and you freeze.

He begins humming.

It is quiet, but you can hear it like the light of day, because you’ve heard it so many times before.

\-----------

“Where did you hear that song, darling?” You stopped your humming to peer at your mother. She was standing in the middle of the kitchen, dawn bursting with colour behind her.

“I don’t know mum; it’s stuck inside my head!” Your mother grins at you widely.

“Do you think it’s my soul song mommy?” Your five-year-old face lights up in glee. You had heard your mother’s soul song many times, but never your own. Your mother chuckles and bends down to pat your cheek lovingly.

“Only you can know that, sweetheart.”

\-----------

Back then you had imagined that the song belonged to the greatest husband in the world. He would be a man who would take your kids to school and brush your hair lovingly. Or maybe the one singing would be the sweetest best friend, one you could share both your cookies and your secrets with. 

You whimper silently. It was just your luck wasn’t it? For your soulmate to be someone who wanted to kill you. Just your damn luck.

Your hands find the wall behind you, but there’s no way out. Your breath catches in your throat as your hand brushes against the handle of one of your old crutches. You pull it in front of you slowly and grip it tightly. At least now you have something to use against him.

The humming gets louder, a tear runs down the side of your cheek. You shut your eyes as your head hits the back of the closet and a sob wreck through you.

The humming stops as abruptly as it started.

The phone clatters to the ground and the closet opens. The shadow stands tall on the other side of the door frame. You clench your jaw tightly as your heart thumps in your rib-cage like a wild animal trying to get out of a trap.

The stranger wastes no time, he grabs the front of your shirt and pulls you out of the closet. You cry out, fright overtaking you. His fingers are rough against your chin as he grabs it harshly. You flinch away from him, but to no avail.

You can’t see his face, but his hair is long and dark.

“Stop…” What was meant as threatening comes out as a whisper. It doesn’t seem like he cares.

His teeth glint dangerously in the dim lighting of your bedroom as he bares them like a wolf. You have never felt more trapped in your life.

You lunge for him with the crutch, but he saw the move before you thought of it. Your head hits the wall with a dull thud. Sitting like this, he looks even bigger and wilder than before. He pulls out a gun from his belt. And you do the only thing that you can think of.

You sing.

The song erupts from you like a sad sirens wail.

It is the tears a wife cries when her husband dies in battle.

It is the scream ripping through a mother’s throat when she finally finds her son, dead in an alley.

It is the sobs of a sister laying on the ground, when the news of her dead brother reaches her.

The man stops halfway through pulling the trigger. But you don’t see that, for you have closed your eyes. You sing even as you wait for the final blow.

And as you await the pain and the light, you hear a darker voice joining your own.

He doesn’t stay until the song dims and dies. Long before the last notes leaves your lips he is gone. No trace left behind but your trembling form, small and alone in the darkness.


	2. 1 year later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You try clubbing a year after the incident. It doesn’t go that well, but you never liked clubbing anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
> 
> Words: 2,5 k
> 
> Warning(s): Angst… a lot of it.
> 
> A/N: This chapter is set 1 YEAR AFTER the last chapter!

You smiled awkwardly to your best friend as she put on her mascara in your bathroom mirror. She grinned back excitedly.

“This is going to be the best night out ever!” She turned to shake your shoulders, screaming loudly.

Your best friend was nothing like you. While you grew to become silent and withdrawn since the incident, she was as she had always been. Loud, pretty and annoying. She sighed happily, turning back to add extra blush.

“Thank god you finally agreed. It’s never fun without you, not real fun anyways. Honestly you haven’t been out and about since…” She stopped mid-sentence and frowned. She put down her brush and grabbed a smaller one during the tense silence.

“Well,” Her smile was back as quickly as it had disappeared. She grabbed your hands and spun you around, her laughter twinkling merrily in the air around you. “You’re single and definitely ready to mingle, if you don’t mind me saying!”

“Oh, shut up.” You shot back at her, smiling a little. You blushed, glancing down at your black, closefitting dress, that you were not near comfortable wearing.

“I can’t believe you actually put me into this thing.” You commented, rolling your eyes.

“Well, you better start believing gurl!” She looked you up and down slowly. “Damn you’re fine, if I didn’t know you liked guys, I might just have fucked you myself.” You choked at the nosy comment and shoved her roughly.

“Fuck you!” You shouted, laughing loudly.

“Don’t mind if I do.” Your best friend quipped, not missing a beat. You rolled your eyes fondly.

“Keep those hands to yourself, Tina.” She smiled before turning back to the mirror.

“I will, babe. But you should stop doubting yourself. You’re honestly very pretty.” She applied her lip gloss and looked apprehensively in the mirror.

“And you deserve a night clubbing.” She added before grabbing your elbow.

“And that night has to be tonight?” You asked, following her anyway.

She nodded and grabbed your purses. “Definitely tonight.” She closed the door behind you.

You never particularly liked going out, not before the incident, and not after. But then again, anything was better than staying at home in the dark.

Your bills and busy life had never allowed you to move out of your old house. It didn’t make sense to change that part of our life, not even after what happened. You wanted to, but you never had the time nor the energy to start looking for other options.

TINA had tried to get you to move out and to be more social so many times the past year, you couldn’t possibly count it on one hand. It would be fun, she said. She tried to tell you how unlikely everything was.

It could have been something you imagined; you were terrified after all!

And when she realized that it was not an imagine: Not everybody ends up with their soulmate anyways.

But you knew all of that, and yet, your fears often seemed to be right. People who weren’t already married to their soulmates were looking for them. When they figured out that you weren’t it, they would leave you in the dust. You knew that from experience.

It’s not like you blamed Tina for trying to help, it wasn’t her fault she never knew how it felt. You were happy she found her soulmate when they were only kids. That was her happy ending, just not yours.

Sometimes you dreamt of finding the man of your dreams. Another who knew your song. That man would be kind and caring. And that fateful night had been naught but a terrible nightmare.

But then you woke up. And it was like finding out the truth all over again.

You hated your soulmate. You hated what he had done to you. You hated everything he was. But what you hated most was your longing for him. Why did soulmates have to be this way? You met him only once, in a terrible situation none the less, and now you felt yourself reaching towards him in your dreams. This strange man whose soul somehow matched your own.

“… are you even listening to me? Girl!” Your head snapped to where your best friend sat beside you in the car. She was driving, her manicured hands pretty on the wheel. You rubbed the crook of your eye and sighed.

“Sorry, Tina. I just have a lot on my mind,” you smiled apologetically.

“Hey!” She batted your hands away from your eyes. “You’re ruining my makeup, dumbass!” You grinned and pretended to rub a large portion of your face as your best friend shrieked, horrified.

“God! You just don’t appreciate hard work, do you?” She sighed, a smile itching at the corner of her mouth. You laughed loudly. She grinned back at you.

“Well, mademoiselle, we have arrived at last.” She made a large gesture towards a loud club on your side of the car.

You looked the place over with a nervous smile. It had a large and rich vibe, two guards stood by the door and a large line formed in front of it. The sign read: STARkS. You almost laughed, of course Tina would bring you to a club owned by Tony Stark. How could she not, when she was such a huge fan?

“Okay, I admit this is a little bit conceited, but… he’s super cute! Maybe we see him this time,” Your friend admitted, a bit too exited for your taste. You rolled your eyes but nodded your silent approval.

Tina whooped and pulled into a parking slot. “Yes! I knew there was some fun left in you,” She patted your cheek. You rolled your eyes again and stepped out of the car.

Approaching the bouncer took time, the que was long and the people stubborn. Finally, when you arrived, the bouncer surprisingly let you in when hearing your names. You had expected a brawl between your bestie and all the security members, but apparently, she had gotten tickets way ahead of time. She claimed it was for your return.

“Only the best for my bestie!” She exclaimed, gripping your hand tightly as she dragged you inside with her. You laughed with her but was sure she had planned on going anyways. She had the days Tony Stark were rumoured to be at his bars stapled on her wall, but you didn’t mind that. You knew she would have stayed at home with you if you asked her to. You also knew that it was time for you to give something back to her.

The club was loud and bright, but just the right amount. No large flashy disco balls like the trashier clubs in town and the music was pretty good. The interior was stylish and reflected Mr Stark himself. Flashy, immature and a little over the top, but legendary none the less.

With a small smile, you tracked after Tina, trying to keep up while not being trampled by the crowd. She wavered through the crowd like some dancer, it didn’t really help that you weren’t one.

One recklessly long step to keep up, and you were tripping over your high heels. The floor looked hard. You really didn’t want to hit it, but everything you tried to grab, swayed away and your feet were gone beneath you. With a shriek, you braced for impact.

But it didn’t come.

A strong hand stopped you from falling, gripping your arm tightly. The person pulled you up and stepped away.

“You okay there, ma’am?” You looked up at your saviour, who smiled down at you. He was tall and handsome. For some reason, you felt like you had met him before somewhere. You frowned at the man, but he nodded at you and disappeared.

For a second you just stood in the middle of the dancefloor, a little frozen in the moment. You stared after the man, but he had long since gone out of your eyesight. Something irked you the wrong way.

“Hey! There you are, where did you go?” Tina looked at you with a concerned gaze. Confused, your eyes found Tina. Not knowing how to explain what had happened, you shrugged. Your best friend rolled her eyes. “You can’t just disappear! Let’s go, hun.”

She led you to the bar, but your eyes never stopped searching for the man you had seen. Somewhere in between the rubble of your memory he had to be hidden. Perhaps if only you would get another glimpse of him…

“Y/N! Do I have to choose for you?” Tina was pointing at the bartender. You blinked. You had no idea what you wanted.

“Do you recommend anything?” You asked, trying to buy yourself some time. Tina smiled, leaning suggestively on the bar. Apparently, she found the bartender attractive.

“I have always been a good judge of character. Maybe you would let me make something that I think fits?” You nodded, not in the mood to choose. Tina nodded enthusiastically along with you. You almost rolled your eyes. While the bartender started mixing things together, you took the time to take another look at the crowd.

“A Strawberry Basil Sorbet Bellini for the pretty lady,” You turned back around as the bartender gave a drink to Tina. He turned to you with a curious smile. “And a Blackberry Gin & Tonic for the mysterious one.” You grabbed the drink a bit harshly. If he tried to get any mysterious secrets out of you, he would fail. The bartender took a step back to Tina, thankfully registering your way of telling him to fuck off.

The flirting between Tina and her bartender (his name was Frank) was becoming sickening. Suddenly you remembered why you didn’t like clubbing in the first place. Not even before the… thing. Grabbing a final drink, it was all on Tina’s tab anyways, you decided to get some fresh air. Maybe take a smoke for the first time since high school. Cheers to new bad beginnings, right?

The outside of the bar was cold and slippery. In your haste to get away from Tina and Fred, you had forgotten your jacket inside. Stupid, stupid, stupid. You took a deep breath and a sip from your drink. This wasn’t so bad. The only problem was that clubbing had gotten worse since you started climbing that ladder of insecurity. Soon you would be on the very top, the scale stopped at teenage mode.

Leaning against the wall not far from the security, you closed your eyes. You reminded yourself that people were nearby, you were safe. Nobody could do you any harm. Nobody had ever done you any harm. Not even him. It was no way he would find you. No way he could ever come back. No harm had been done.

Your breathing sped up. You let yourself sink down to the rough ground of the pavement. Crawling into yourself, you put your hands around your knees. You buried your head in between them. You tried to gather your thoughts, but your head was a mess.

“He’s not here, he’s gone. No one’s here, I’m alone. He’s not here, he’s not here, he’s not here…” You muttered, rocking from side to side. Trying to keep the tears from falling was impossible, your breathing sped out of control. “Not here, not here, can’t breathe, stop, please.” Once again you were back to that night, nothing could keep it away. Nothing could stop him.

The hand crumpling your shirt, the force of you hitting the wall, it takes your breath away. The gun glinting in the light of your nightlamp. The trigger, clicking silently, almost in warning. You start sobbing. Why him, why did it have to be him?

You start when a hand touches your shoulder. You looked up too fast and something in your neck snaps painfully. “Ow!” Your hand came to your neck, but it didn’t sooth the pain. In a way, you realized, that’s a good thing, the pain brought you back.

The man before you looked concerned. He was tall and his shoulders were wide. You almost didn’t recognize him in the ally. There he looked just as dark and drunk as any other person in the early morning hours. You flinched away from him because he’s a man and he was standing too close. That was when you saw his face.

“Steve… Rogers?” You uttered the words almost carefully, though you fully knew that it was him. Captain America, the man, the saviour in the flesh. He didn’t answer, just reached out a hand and treated you a smile. He had soft hands. You almost laughed, that was a weird thing to realize when you met Captain America for the first time. He asked you questions, but you didn’t realize that he did until he gave up. You wanted to apologize but couldn’t seem to speak a word.

He didn’t take you back to the bar and you were thankful. For a second you wondered where he was leading you. Maybe you should have been concerned. Yes, he was Captain America, but he was still a man and you didn’t know him. You found yourself too drunk to react to that concern.

Steve brought you to the back of the club. With a confidence you couldn’t fathom, he strode past the VIP barrier. Behind the curtains sat Tony Stark. Around him were other famous people that you would have recognized, but you didn’t see them. Or at least you didn’t get very excited.

What you did see was a man in the corner. He sat in the corner Captain America was bringing you to. He was the man who caught you, you realized. The man who seemed so familiar. The man who you couldn’t quite place.

Terror spread through you a second before you realized, and you couldn’t possibly understand why. Until he turned his head fully towards you and you screamed.

Lunging for you, Steve tried to calm you down. He looked desperate, concerned, and you watched him as from another body. Your feet stopped working and your mind operated on pure instinct. It is him, it is him, it is him. You scrambled away from him, but away from him was away from the exit. You ended up pressed against the wall, your body a compact ball. Sobs, screams and whimpers escaped you without your notice.

The hair, the eyes, the arm. It was all so him and it terrified you. The people in the room were staring. You couldn’t see them, but fear and concern swirled in their eyes. Steve came to you after a while. He grabbed your arm, stopping you from hurting anybody as you kicked and screamed, wrenching your body away from them. Then the adrenalin was gone, and your throat sore. The hands that held you down were too strong, fighting wouldn’t help. That’s when you fell unconscious, the panic only ripples in the water after the stone had been thrown.

————————————————-

A/N: So… I continued this? Leave a comment if you liked it :)

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Yes, here I am. Starting another project that I will probably never finish? Don't blame me! Blame my creativity!


End file.
